Sophie and I were café crawling our afternoon away, catching up and exchanging boy dramas, when it suddenly became apparent that I am becoming old before my time. Worries that I should not be facing for at least another ten years have been filling my psychotic little head for a while now, but laying it all down on the table certainly made me realise that I've gone mad.
I've never been one to think about the future further than whether to crack open a bottle of red when I get home from university, but as of late I've been having a few 5-year-plan related issues. Not the usual sort of, i-don't-know-where-i'm-going-to-be-post-uni issues that I have struggled with a little as graduation creeps horrifyingly close, but worries that I have now reached the age where everybody is already cluttered with commitments. What happens if I never meet anybody to settle down with? What happens if I've missed the happily-ever-after boat where everybody holds hands and has babies and detached houses? What happens if I never get my Chaise Longue?
I think a lot of the blame has to do with EVERYBODY around me getting hitched and having children. And it not being ridiculed. 2/4 of my ex boyfriends are engaged now, one of whom has a baby boy. My facebook time line is filled with pictures of diamonds and out-grown baby boots for sale. I figure there must be something in my sub-concious telling me I'm missing out on all of the fun. Or that now I'm reaching the end of my 16 years of education (christ) I need to join the rest of the world in marital bliss - if I haven't already missed out on all the best potential suitors by dicking around getting a degree when I should have been on a husband hunt. Anybody who knows me personally will think this hilariously out of character, this broody nature has snook up on me almost over night, and I'm sure it will pass again just as quickly. Sophie was very quick in reminding me that I am only 21, and that I don't really like children, or men, so I'll probably be OK even if I do end up a lonely spinster. And as I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm actually having loads of fun in my current situation, even if it has its complications. After all, when has anything fun been straight forward, and vice versa? I managed to push my crazy aside by spending my spare change on sweets and linking arms with Sophie like fifteen year olds, reminding ourselves that its still 2007 in our minds anyway and we don't need no man.